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  • Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

    George Carlin

  • I generally avoid temptation unless I can’t resist it.

    Mae West

  • The real story of the Fleece: there were these two children of Zeus, Cadmus and Europa, okay? They were about to get offered up as human sacrifices, when they prayed to Zeus to save them. So Zeus sent this magical flying ram with golden wool, which picked them up in Greece and carried them all the way to Colchis in Asia Minor. Well, actually it…

    Rick Riordan

  • No good deed goes unpunished.

    Oscar Wilde

  • I’ve lived through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened.

    Mark Twain

  • My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She’s ninety-seven now, and we don’t know where the heck she is.

    Ellen DeGeneres

  • If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it.

    W.C. Fields

  • It is a great thing to start life with a small number of really good books which are your very own.

    Arthur Conan Doyle

  • If the world were merely seductive, that would be easy. If it were merely challenging, that would be no problem. But I arise in the morning torn between a desire to improve the world and a desire to enjoy the world. This makes it hard to plan the day.

    E.B. White

  • Jace shook his blond head in exasperation. “You had to make a crazy jail friend, didn’t you? You couldn’t just count ceiling tiles or tame a pet mouse like normal prisoners do?

    Cassandra Clare

  • A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.

    Phyllis Diller

  • The easy confidence with which I know another man’s religion is folly teaches me to suspect that my own is also.

    Mark Twain

  • Magnus, standing by the door, snapped his fingers impatiently. “Move it along, teenagers. The only person who gets to canoodle in my bedroom is my magnificent self.” “Canoodle?” repeated Clary, never having heard the word before. “Magnificent?” repeated Jace, who was just being nasty. Magnus growled. The growl sounded like “Get out.

    Cassandra Clare

  • Happiness is a warm puppy.

    Charles M. Schulz

  • You deal with mythological stuff for a few years, you learn that paradises are usually places where you get killed.

    Rick Riordan

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