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  • So be sure when you step, Step with care and great tact. And remember that life’s A Great Balancing Act. And will you succeed? Yes! You will, indeed! (98 and ¾ percent guaranteed) Kid, you’ll move mountains.

    Dr. Seuss

  • If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

    George Carlin

  • The Guide says there is an art to flying”, said Ford, “or rather a knack. The knack lies in learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.

    Douglas Adams

  • Good sex is like good bridge. If you don’t have a good partner, you’d better have a good hand.

    Mae West

  • The planet is fine. The people are fucked.

    George Carlin

  • I like work: it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.

    Jerome K. Jerome

  • Some people have lives; some people have music.

    John Green

  • Why are they all staring?” demanded Albus as he and Rose craned around to look at the other students. “Don’t let it worry you,” said Ron. “It’s me. I’m extremely famous.

    J.K. Rowling

  • Wisdom comes from experience. Experience is often a result of lack of wisdom.

    Terry Pratchett

  • If writers wrote as carelessly as some people talk, then adhasdh asdglaseuyt[bn[ pasdlgkhasdfasdf.

    Lemony Snicket

  • Trains are great dirty smoky things,” said Will. “You won’t like it.” Tessa was unmoved. “I won’t know if I like it until I try it, will I?” “I’ve never swum naked in the Thames before, but I know I wouldn’t like it.” “But think how entertaining for sightseers,” said Tessa, and she saw Jem duck his head to hide the quick flash of his…

    Cassandra Clare

  • Dreams like a podcast, Downloading truth in my ears. They tell me cool stuff.” “Apollo?” I guess, because I figured nobody else could make a haiku that bad. He put his finger to his lips. “I’m incognito. Call me Fred.” “A god named Fred?

    Rick Riordan

  • There are two motives for reading a book; one, that you enjoy it; the other, that you can boast about it.

    Bertrand Russell

  • When his life was ruined, his family killed, his farm destroyed, Job knelt down on the ground and yelled up to the heavens, “Why god? Why me?” and the thundering voice of God answered, There’s just something about you that pisses me off.

    Stephen King

  • Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

    George Carlin

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