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  • I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally.

    W.C. Fields

  • Must you go? I was rather hoping you’d stay and be a ministering angel, but if you must go, you must.” “I’ll stay,” Will said a bit crossly, and threw himself down in the armchair Tessa had just vacated. “I can minister angelically.” “None too convincingly. And you’re not as pretty to look at as Tessa is,” Jem said, closing his eyes as he leaned…

    Cassandra Clare

  • Is it true that you shouted at Professor Umbridge?” “Yes.” “You called her a liar?” “Yes.” “You told her He Who Must Not Be Named is back?” “Yes.” “Have a biscuit, Potter.

    J.K. Rowling

  • What the hell is that?” I laughed. “It’s my fox hat.” “Your fox hat?” “Yeah, Pudge. My fox hat.” “Why are you wearing your fox hat?” I asked. “Because no one can catch the motherfucking fox.

    John Green

  • Sometimes when I’m talking, my words can’t keep up with my thoughts. I wonder why we think faster than we speak. Probably so we can think twice.

    Bill Watterson

  • Never put off till tomorrow what may be done day after tomorrow just as well.

    Mark Twain

  • Today was good. Today was fun. Tomorrow is another one.

    Dr. Seuss

  • Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living, it’s a way of looking at life through the wrong end of a telescope.

    Dr. Seuss

  • Welcome to the wonderful world of jealousy, he thought. For the price of admission, you get a splitting headache, a nearly irresistable urge to commit murder, and an inferiority complex. Yippee.

    J.R. Ward

  • Just because you call an electric eel a rubber duck doesn’t make it a rubber duck, does it? And God help the poor bastard who decides they want to take a bath with the duckie. (Jace Wayland)

    Cassandra Clare

  • Your friend’s poetry is terrible,” he said. Clary blinked, caught momentarily off guard. “What?” “I said his poetry was terrible. It sounds like he ate a dictionary and started vomiting up words at random.

    Cassandra Clare

  • The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four people is suffering from a mental illness. Look at your 3 best friends. If they’re ok, then it’s you.

    Rita Mae Brown

  • Deadlines just aren’t real to me until I’m staring one in the face.

    Rick Riordan

  • Maybe our girlfriends are our soulmates and guys are just people to have fun with.

    Candace Bushnell

  • Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.

    Steven Wright

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