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  • If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

    George Carlin

  • Finnick?” I say, “Maybe some pants?” He looks down at his legs as if noticing his outfit for the first time. Then he whips off his hospital gown leaving him in just his underwear. “Why? Do you find this” — he strikes a ridiculously provocative pose — “distracting?” I laugh. Boggs looks embarrassed and Finnick looks more like the guy I met at the Quarter…

    Suzanne Collins

  • Illegal aliens have always been a problem in the United States. Ask any Indian.

    Robert Orben

  • A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle.

    Irina Dunn

  • For instance, on the planet Earth, man had always assumed that he was more intelligent than dolphins because he had achieved so much—the wheel, New York, wars and so on—whilst all the dolphins had ever done was muck about in the water having a good time. But conversely, the dolphins had always believed that they were far more intelligent than man—for precisely the same reasons.

    Douglas Adams

  • When I was your age, television was called books.

    William Goldman

  • If someone were to harm my family or a friend or somebody I love, I would eat them. I might end up in jail for 500 years, but I would eat them.

    Johnny Depp

  • The only way to get through life is to laugh your way through it. You either have to laugh or cry. I prefer to laugh. Crying gives me a headache.

    Marjorie Pay Hinckley

  • Those who believe in telekinetics, raise my hand.

    Kurt Vonnegut

  • The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don’t.

    Douglas Adams

  • Crying is for plain women. Pretty women go shopping.

    Oscar Wilde

  • Sometimes you climb out of bed in the morning and you think, I’m not going to make it, but you laugh inside — remembering all the times you’ve felt that way.

    Charles Bukowski

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