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  • The planet is fine. The people are fucked.

    George Carlin

  • Damn, Claire. Warn a guy before you do a face-plant on the floor next time. I could have looked all heroic and caught you or something -Shane

    Rachel Caine

  • Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.

    Phyllis Diller

  • Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you an automobile.

    Billy Sunday

  • Once you can accept the universe as matter expanding into nothing that is something, wearing stripes with plaid comes easy.

    Albert Einstein

  • You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America’s Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn’t want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named “Bush”, “Dick”, and “Colin.” Need…

    Chris Rock

  • I’m going to wake Peeta,” I say. “No, wait,” says Finnick. “Let’s do it together. Put our faces right in front of his.” Well, there’s so little opportunity for fun left in my life, I agree. We position ourselves on either side of Peeta, lean over until our faces are inches frim his nose, and give him a shake. “Peeta. Peeta, wake up,” I say…

    Suzanne Collins

  • Did you see that dress? “I saw the dress. “Did you like it? He didn’t answer. I took that as a yes. “Am I going to endanger my reputation if I wear it to the dance? When he spoke, I could barely hear him. “You’ll endanger the school. I smiled and fell asleep.

    Richelle Mead

  • If a book about failures doesn’t sell, is it a success?

    Jerry Seinfeld

  • When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye.

    Cathy Guiswite

  • What the hell is that?” I laughed. “It’s my fox hat.” “Your fox hat?” “Yeah, Pudge. My fox hat.” “Why are you wearing your fox hat?” I asked. “Because no one can catch the motherfucking fox.

    John Green

  • Always go to other people’s funerals, otherwise they won’t come to yours.

    Yogi Berra

  • It’s not true that I had nothing on. I had the radio on.

    Marilyn Monroe

  • I thought I’d lie on the floor and writhe in pain for a while,” he grunted, “It relaxes me.” “It does? Oh – you’re being sarcastic. That’s a good sign probably.

    Cassandra Clare

  • Don’t be so humble – you are not that great.

    Golda Meir

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